The game changes.

Well folks.
 I am the mom of a 5th grade girl.
 I know there are certain emotions that are packaged  with having a tween girl.  There are people reading this thinking, OH LINDSAY, sweet, sweet  Lindsay, this is nothing. It is only downhill from here. I know this "could" be true. I am working very hard on just rolling with what we have going and not worrying about what is coming next.
 My 10 year old is bold. The child wears the craziest outfits without a care in the world. She sings from the time she wakes up until she lays her sweet, freckled face back in bed again.  She is confident and sometimes a little cocky. There are little cracks in this attitude lately. I see her doubting herself. I see her questioning the actions of her friends.  She knows what is right and wrong, but not sure how to react to those doing the latter.  There are times she is crying and isn't sure why. Blasted hormones.

I love Ben Folds. He can tell a story with his songs and I have a lengthy list of them that make me teary. This was never one, until now.  I will give you the jest in case you don't listen/ watch the video. (please do).  We know from growing up ourselves, that there are parts that suck.  We now are in an odd/painful place in watching our kids jump thru the same wonderful and yet sometimes painful and crappy hoops that we did.  One day they will be great, and fine, but until then....I'm just sorry. I also heard him talk about this song and say that when we are kids, we think that this cycle ends when you are an adult. It doesn't. You are always the new employee, neighbor, mom, dad. whatever. (hence the title)
 Being who you are is still hard to do as an adult.  Mean girls/boys grow up and sometimes never change.  I will stop talking...just watch.  UGH. Its just so great!

 

A couple of weeks ago my 10 year old tried out for her intermediate school's talent show. She practiced singing her song ALL DAY AND NIGHT. It was beautiful, but endless. I picked her up after her audition and she was super excited. She thought she did pretty great!  She had to wait 4 days to find out if she made it or not. She was given an envelope at the end of the 4th day to take home. Inside was whether she made the cut to be in the show.  I walked to the bus stop. I was so nervous for her!  The pixie got off the bus and with a straight face said. I didn't make it.

UGH. WHAT?? OH NOOOOOOOOO!!! She looked so sad. She said quietly" its alright, I've been in other vocal shows, and it will be fine"

She was pretty quiet the rest of the evening.  My heart was just breaking.

I asked her if she would feel comfortable asking her music teacher (who was one of the judges) if there was anything you could do to improve for next years try outs.  She said a very definitive

(with eye roll)  NO.

 

Two days later I got an e-mail from her music teacher. She said that afternoon J had come up to her and asked what she could do to improve for next year. She then said that she was so confused because her records showed that she was in the talent show.  J HAD ACCIDENTLY BEEN GIVEN THE WRONG PAPER!!! :)  Her music teacher apologized over and over. I was not one bit worried about the mistake.  It showed J that if you are humble, and genuinely voice that you would like to improve....AMAZING things can happen! 

 

 I couldn't WAIT to see her get off the bus! SHE RAN out of the bus and was jumping up and down.  I am so so, so proud of her! Not only did she know what was right, but she did it! That is a big step for my tiny 5th grader.  It is painful to watch her struggle, but OH MAN the good parts are so great! So this is why the roller coaster analogy is always used!:)

On Friday we are going to pick out an outfit for her intermediate school ...stage debut.   If I cried at this Ben Folds song, you just wait until the talent show!  Spread your wings little J!