Why am I doing this?
I am a Christian. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I do not lecture people about my faith. I often do not bring it up, not because I am ashamed. I don't bring it up because I hope my actions speak for themselves. I hope.
Now, as a mom there are certain topics that I need to talk to my girls about. These are coming of age speeches that I will carefully sit down and explain how "life" works. I like to think these conversations will come about "organically". I did not want to sit down with 20 books and say, "Girls, have you ever had that not so fresh feeling?". However I have ages in mind that if certain subjects are not brought up, then we have to address them. NO way are my pixies getting their first lesson on sex from the school nurse. Homosexuality is one of those topics. For some reason it just never came up until recently. My oldest (age 10) came home and said....." mom, something weird happened in music class today. We were singing a song that had the word gay in it. the kids started laughing. My music teacher told them to stop it, it meant happy and not what the kids were actually laughing at. Mom, what does gay really mean?"
I said a quick prayer. I know my children are going to grow up and live their own life and have their own opinions about things. That is how the world works. I want them to know that my opinion on this topic is UNWAVERING. I explained that "you know how your dad and I met, and fell in love and have spent our lives together? There are some women who fall in love with other women and some men who fall in love with other men. They love each other very much just like your daddy and I do. When someone is in love with someone that is the same gender, that is what gay is. Do you have any questions??"
J-"Mom..why would that be funny??" me=-" J, it isn't funny. Do you understand what I mean when I say majority, and minority? (she did) The majority of people aren't gay. There is a minority of people that are. Sometimes when people see something that is not what they are used to they make fun of it or laugh. It is sometimes how people respond when something makes them uncomfortable." J="that is not nice at all" me="You are very right" j= "are gay people allowed to get married like you and dad did?" me="In some states, yes. Do you have any more questions about this??" j=nope.
I had to add more, I just had to. I had to warn her tiny little just and fair heart. sigh.
me- "J, you should probably know that there are people out there that do not like that people are gay, they think it is wrong and sometimes don't even like gay people and are mean to them."
j=what?? Mom, how do you feel about it? Here is where some of my Christian friends and family are going to disown me. They are going to stop and say a prayer for me and my children. Feel free. My opinion is the same.
me= "God made them that way. God said love thy neighbor as yourself. He did not say, unless they are gay, or anything else you disagree with. We love everyone and support them. It does not mean that the people that do not feel this way are bad people either. everyone is allowed to have an opinion. This is my opinion. any more questions" Now here is the kicker. I am crying just typing it. That pixie with the kind and just, heart said from the back seat."Mom, its kind of like when there was slavery. I am sure there were really good people that also believed in slavery, but they figured out that everyone deserved to be who they were and do what they want" uhhhh yeah. that!
I will back the train up. I did say "God made them that way". You read it right. For those that are in mid prayer for my family, hear me out. Have you ever known or loved someone that was gay? Have you watched them struggle. DId you know that gay and lesbian teens are 2-3 times more likely to commit suicide than teens that are heterosexual. TWO TO THREE TIMES!!! I have been a teenager before and remember the pressure to be normal and "not be made fun of. So your argument is that these children of God made this choice to be ostracized and sometimes have their families disown them? Why? So they can be different? So they can get attention?? When my children are nervous heading into any situation I always tell them "Just be yourself, and it will be fine" Imagine now that doesn't apply to you at ALL. You have to pretend to be something you are not for your family to love and accept you. Again, I do not think this is anything someone would "choose".
Lets say your opinion is different than mine and that you think being gay is a sin. that is fine. It is not that fact, that is the problem. It is how you act. Infidelity is a sin. People who cheat on their spouses are welcomed with open arms into churches everywhere every week. Yes I know they are not walking in and screaming "I am cheating on her". Oddly enough most gay people are not acting"gay" at church either. They are not making out with their partners and dressed head to toe in rainbows. Calm down people, chances are they will sit in the pew, praise God and go home and have a boring Sunday , just like you. They do not want to have relations with you, or infringe on your life or beliefs.
Sometimes, just as a warning, if you are a Christian and say something negative about people who are gay to someone. ...that person knows someone who is gay. They may not say it outloud but the thought happens. If my "brother, friend, cousin or whomever" is not accepted at your church then I am not sure I want to go there either. There might be 200 people who will accept people just as they are that go to that church, but because of the one slanderous comment, now many think badly of your church, your faith and in turn my faith. I respect the differing opinions on the subject, what I do not respect is when the " love your neighbor as yourself" rule is butchered to prove a point.
Some of you have read this and said internally "THAT was a religious post!" "Some have said " That was a religious post??" Either way you think is fine with me, because its my blog! :)
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
back home again....
There are quite a few entries in the blog that are really just me writing down memories. I think the girls will like to see that their mom was a real person at one point. :) This is one of those entries.
I went to a funeral service for an amazing woman today. She was my neighbor at my old house. I considered her a grandma. She treated me like a grandkid. She had 4 kids. When we lived there the youngest child was still in high school and the oldest had kids my age. I grew up with her grandchildren. I was also fascinated that there was a REAL high schooler that lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME. I think small kids think that high school is a magical land of amazing half grown-up people. Kids can recognize that teenagers are still functioning like a kid but look like an adult. "mysterious". Marion had amazing things at her house. She always had candy out in a jar on the coffee table. She was always reading paperback romance novels. When I asked what she was reading, she would say "Oh, don't you worry about it, sweetie". I learned how to play cards over there, danced to Michael Jackson, and raced around her giant yard! She had a bowl that you put corn in, that looked like a real ear of corn! She had a giant vase at her front door with pussy willow plants in it. I learned to not run barefoot in her rock garden, and that all cats were not friendly. (It was my goal to make her cat, Tatty like me-I failed) She was such a character and will be missed.
The funeral service was in my hometown. There are pros and cons to living almost anywhere. The pro to not living where you grew up, is you don't see it as the daily mundane place. In other words I don't have to go grocery shopping or run errrands there. To me it is all of the happy memories of growing up. Every where is a "look at that" or "remember when we"....it is a fun place to visit. I took Libby thru my old neighborhood. As I drove around, things looked great and about the same. Our neighborhood was on a large hill. I was ready to drive down the hill and remembered a question that Julia had asked me last week. "Mom, did Nanny or Papaw ever do anything to embarrass you when you were a kid?" (I think I am starting to embarrass her??) Uh, yes Julia they did. It happened right at the top of that hill. Today it made me laugh outloud to think about.
When I was in high school, my friend and I dated guys that were best friends. PERFECT. This was great for all involved since we could double date. Every weekend consisted of a date with the 4 of us. She and I were talking one day and she admitted that she was thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend. WHAT? What would happen to our double dates? I had actually been thinking about doing the same thing but was afraid to admit it. So we decided to break up with our boyfriends on the same day. ( Note:this was not the peak of my maturity, thank God!) I am sure we did it in a heartless way like in a note all folded up like an origami bird or something. Anyway, the guys were obviously bummed because my mom was driving up to our house, my friend and I were in the back of the van. The two boys were parked at my house egging it. In the middle of the day. Again, high schoolers are idiots! :) The boys spotted her and took off driving. My mom took after them in a blind rage and all of a sudden we were involved in a chase scene that rivaled the Italian Job. Only instead of driving stylish mini coopers my mom was driving like Bo and Luke Duke in her minivan. She got PASSED them and stopped her van so they could not get passed us and then got out to confront them. This was the point I was certain. CERTAIN. I would die of embarrassment. We will have to call 911 because I knew then it was possible to actually DIE of embarrassment. Through the glass of the minivan windows, I could hear my mom yelling, I caught, "ashamed of yourself" "lucky I don't call your moms" Sweet heavens. Social. life. OVER. Surprisingly I woke up the next day and did not die. I also lived thru the next. No eye contact was made for awhile with both of the guys involved. I was so selfish that I never thought through how embarrassing it must have been for them.
No real moral to this story, just a funny memory and how now as an adult I can see all sides of it, but at the time I was a teenager and it pretty much revolved around me. I will most likely embarrass my girls to the point of near death. I think I owe them at least that! :) Happy Tuesday!
I went to a funeral service for an amazing woman today. She was my neighbor at my old house. I considered her a grandma. She treated me like a grandkid. She had 4 kids. When we lived there the youngest child was still in high school and the oldest had kids my age. I grew up with her grandchildren. I was also fascinated that there was a REAL high schooler that lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME. I think small kids think that high school is a magical land of amazing half grown-up people. Kids can recognize that teenagers are still functioning like a kid but look like an adult. "mysterious". Marion had amazing things at her house. She always had candy out in a jar on the coffee table. She was always reading paperback romance novels. When I asked what she was reading, she would say "Oh, don't you worry about it, sweetie". I learned how to play cards over there, danced to Michael Jackson, and raced around her giant yard! She had a bowl that you put corn in, that looked like a real ear of corn! She had a giant vase at her front door with pussy willow plants in it. I learned to not run barefoot in her rock garden, and that all cats were not friendly. (It was my goal to make her cat, Tatty like me-I failed) She was such a character and will be missed.
The funeral service was in my hometown. There are pros and cons to living almost anywhere. The pro to not living where you grew up, is you don't see it as the daily mundane place. In other words I don't have to go grocery shopping or run errrands there. To me it is all of the happy memories of growing up. Every where is a "look at that" or "remember when we"....it is a fun place to visit. I took Libby thru my old neighborhood. As I drove around, things looked great and about the same. Our neighborhood was on a large hill. I was ready to drive down the hill and remembered a question that Julia had asked me last week. "Mom, did Nanny or Papaw ever do anything to embarrass you when you were a kid?" (I think I am starting to embarrass her??) Uh, yes Julia they did. It happened right at the top of that hill. Today it made me laugh outloud to think about.
When I was in high school, my friend and I dated guys that were best friends. PERFECT. This was great for all involved since we could double date. Every weekend consisted of a date with the 4 of us. She and I were talking one day and she admitted that she was thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend. WHAT? What would happen to our double dates? I had actually been thinking about doing the same thing but was afraid to admit it. So we decided to break up with our boyfriends on the same day. ( Note:this was not the peak of my maturity, thank God!) I am sure we did it in a heartless way like in a note all folded up like an origami bird or something. Anyway, the guys were obviously bummed because my mom was driving up to our house, my friend and I were in the back of the van. The two boys were parked at my house egging it. In the middle of the day. Again, high schoolers are idiots! :) The boys spotted her and took off driving. My mom took after them in a blind rage and all of a sudden we were involved in a chase scene that rivaled the Italian Job. Only instead of driving stylish mini coopers my mom was driving like Bo and Luke Duke in her minivan. She got PASSED them and stopped her van so they could not get passed us and then got out to confront them. This was the point I was certain. CERTAIN. I would die of embarrassment. We will have to call 911 because I knew then it was possible to actually DIE of embarrassment. Through the glass of the minivan windows, I could hear my mom yelling, I caught, "ashamed of yourself" "lucky I don't call your moms" Sweet heavens. Social. life. OVER. Surprisingly I woke up the next day and did not die. I also lived thru the next. No eye contact was made for awhile with both of the guys involved. I was so selfish that I never thought through how embarrassing it must have been for them.
No real moral to this story, just a funny memory and how now as an adult I can see all sides of it, but at the time I was a teenager and it pretty much revolved around me. I will most likely embarrass my girls to the point of near death. I think I owe them at least that! :) Happy Tuesday!
Monday, June 3, 2013
anyone want some wine?
Well friends what a weekend. By that I mean what a crappy weekend. There were some AMAZING parts (visiting some amazing friends) but for the most part we had a few disappointments that left us angry and a little worse for the wear. The weathermen and women in Indianapolis described the apocalyptic weather forecast in great detail on Friday. The weekend would be a wash. I tried as hard as I could to figure out how to get my art to the wine festival without the "tornados" "large hail" or "flooding" damaging it. One or all of these were events were promised. I finally decided that I would not go. I could not risk ruining all of my art. I patted myself on the back, applauding my responsibility. Look at what a grown up I am. Sigh. Now lets spend a rainy family day together. I will make some chili, we will watch wonderful movies and I will be so glad that I was so smart. NOPE. Lets watch it NOT rain and we end up at the pool. THE POOL! I get it. There are starving children in Africa, I understand this is a total first world problem. I really do. Even though I understood I was SO angry. I worked so hard to get ready for this. I have another show July 4th weekend. I will be super ready for it.( I reminded myself of this over and over)
I was now pretty bummed I focused on the wine part of things. I had earlier considered that pretty smart or "knowing your market". Now thanks to a misstep by mother nature I am left with lots of wine themed art, and picturing customers at my next show assuming I have a real drinking problem. I had just worked SO so SO SO so SO hard for this, and now. nothing.
Its now Monday and I should be over it, but was still struggling with being angry. I don't know why I did, but I thought of last year at this time. We had just accepted an offer on our house. We had no idea that we were about to head into a crazy few events that would make us almost lose selling it, and lose buying the one we live in now. We had no idea how scary it was to watch everything fall out from underneath us.
Last year at this time I would have casually joked that I was so stressed that it felt like "I was going to have a stroke." not knowing that mom would have a stroke in a few short months. This time last year I did not realize how crazy it was to move. How in a short year, I would feel like I had always lived in this house, and love my new neighbors to pieces, yet still feel like my old neighbors are still "MY neighbors" and I would miss seeing their smiling faces every day (I did have that figured out). I would not have known how to maneuver around my daughters new school and some of the politics that came with it.
In other words. Look at the difference a year can make. Look at the difference a DAY can make. I know this feels like a big deal now, but put on your big girl pants, and get over it because who knows what tomorrow will bring! Stop wasting time wishing it is different, it's just not! So I am getting ready for an amazing summer with my girls, and a few art shows that look like I am a professional wine drinker. There are surely worse things than that. Happy Monday, people! :)
I was now pretty bummed I focused on the wine part of things. I had earlier considered that pretty smart or "knowing your market". Now thanks to a misstep by mother nature I am left with lots of wine themed art, and picturing customers at my next show assuming I have a real drinking problem. I had just worked SO so SO SO so SO hard for this, and now. nothing.
Its now Monday and I should be over it, but was still struggling with being angry. I don't know why I did, but I thought of last year at this time. We had just accepted an offer on our house. We had no idea that we were about to head into a crazy few events that would make us almost lose selling it, and lose buying the one we live in now. We had no idea how scary it was to watch everything fall out from underneath us.
Last year at this time I would have casually joked that I was so stressed that it felt like "I was going to have a stroke." not knowing that mom would have a stroke in a few short months. This time last year I did not realize how crazy it was to move. How in a short year, I would feel like I had always lived in this house, and love my new neighbors to pieces, yet still feel like my old neighbors are still "MY neighbors" and I would miss seeing their smiling faces every day (I did have that figured out). I would not have known how to maneuver around my daughters new school and some of the politics that came with it.
In other words. Look at the difference a year can make. Look at the difference a DAY can make. I know this feels like a big deal now, but put on your big girl pants, and get over it because who knows what tomorrow will bring! Stop wasting time wishing it is different, it's just not! So I am getting ready for an amazing summer with my girls, and a few art shows that look like I am a professional wine drinker. There are surely worse things than that. Happy Monday, people! :)
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